Kate J. Meyer is a spiritual caregiver and grief counselor with a West Michigan hospice, as well as author of “Faith Doesn’t Erase Grief” and her newest book “Navigating the Waves of Grief.” The book, which she calls a “guidebook,” released in September with Grand Rapids-based Lake Drive Books.
Meyer, also a licensed professional counselor and ordained minister, talks about how we can understand and navigate grief and begin to truly grieve the loss of loved ones, life changes, job loss, pregnancy loss, loss of dreams, and so many other ways we experience grief.
Grand Rapids Magazine: How would you define grief?
Kate Meyer: If I were to boil down grief to one thing, it’s emotions. If we don’t know how to identify, name, and release emotions, it becomes really hard to move through the common experiences of grief.
GR Mag: What are some of those common experiences?
KM: First is emotions—we feel the emotions in our minds and bodies. Second is connection. We feel connected to ourselves, to others, to the person who died or the experience, and to whatever higher power we believe that is bigger than ourselves. Third is identity. Who was I with this person, and who am I now? Who was I with this job, and who am I now? Fourth is through. This doesn’t mean that we are through with grief, but that we have moved through the deep muck of it to the other side. This doesn’t mean we’re better or stopped missing the person, but that we are no longer defined by our grief.
GR Mag: What are some of the things we grieve?
KM: The book is primarily written toward human death, but everything in it can easily translate to things such as retirement, moving to a new place, infertility, loss of a pet, and disenfranchised grief, which is grief not usually recognized by society. This can include stillbirth or miscarriage, and LGBTQ+ people who may lose a spouse who isn’t recognized by society as a spouse.
GR Mag: Is there a right or wrong way to experience grief?
KM: As long as what you are doing, thinking, or saying is not harming you or someone else, there is no right or wrong. But it can be wrong if you’re not facing the grief.
GR Mag: How does “Navigating the Waves of Grief” help people work through those emotions and their grief?
KM: My first book, “Faith Doesn’t Erase Grief,” was more of a learning and reading experience, more passive in other words. “Navigating” is an active book, with grief toolkits, reflections, and Action Challenges. It encourages using creative outlets such as writing, drawing, or collaging, and there is space to write or draw. The book guides people into the active work of grief.
“Navigating the Waves of Grief” is available via online retailers and The Bluestocking Bookshop and Reader’s World in Holland. For more information, visit www.lakedrivebooks.com.
