Brian Smith calls it the Youth Industrial Sports Complex, the system that feeds kids in at pre-school age and spits out college-bound athletes who may even make the pros.
That’s the dream, anyway.
“I’m mentoring my own kids within a system that values winning and also spending as much money as possible,” said Smith, who lives in Lowell and is on staff with Athletes in Action. He and his wife coach the cross-country team at Lowell High School.
Smith is also co-author of “Away Game: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Navigating Youth Sports,” which released July 1. “The book is designed to help you take advantage of the opportunities that sports provide,” said Smith, whose co-author is Ed Uszynski.
Advantages are many, he said. The social aspects that come with sports in our increasingly isolated society. Life lessons and building character that come with hard work, winning and especially losing. Learning there is a connection between working hard and seeing the fruit of that work on the back end of the process.
The downsides are tough, and often revolve around parents who invest heavily in time and money. All that investment means their child should play more and start every game, their kid deserves more coaching, more accolades, more everything.
“We’ve created a system where we put in a lot of money and a college athlete is going to pop out at the end. We all think our kid is going to be the exception to the norm,” Smith said. “The problem is that 90 percent of parents think their kid is going to be that exception.”
Smith has a few recommendations for parents navigating youth sports:
- Know that it’s your job to build character in your kids. Sports alone doesn’t build character and, in fact, is more likely to erode character than build it, according to Smith.
- Play from identity, not for identity. Make sure your kids know that you love and accept them no matter what happens on the field, court or rink.
- Understand the pressure we’re putting on kids with our wallets. You may not say it aloud, but the message can be, “We’re spending a lot of money so you better play well.”
- Know the pressure your child can face. “We’re creating highly-pressurized environments for our kids. If a professional athlete can’t handle that pressure, how can we expect our kids to,” asked Smith.
- Start your children in sports as early as possible via YMCA or rec leagues, and try as many sports as possible to help them figure out what they like.
- Don’t specialize children too early. Research says that specializing early can result in injury, increased pressure on the child, and decreasing enjoyment.
- Be careful on the car ride home. Don’t coach or criticize, which says to the child that they don’t measure up. Connect instead, talking about how they feel and praising their effort.
“It’s our God-given responsibility to build character in our kids and sports is one way to do that,” said Smith. “It’s about parents caring about the things that transcend the scoreboard and what happens on the field.”
