If you’ve ever found yourself drifting through that hazy, eggnog-fueled stretch between Xmas and New Year’s Eve wondering what day it is — or why you’re still eating peppermint bark for breakfast — Deos Contemporary Ballet has a solution. And it’s wearing fishnets.
Back for its third year, “Cracked Nuts | NOT Your Mother’s Nutcracker” returns Dec. 29–30 with an adults-only, sass-forward twist on the holiday classic. Under the direction of Artistic Director Tess Sinke, the Grand Rapids–based company is once again offering a night of dance, drinks and delightfully questionable decision-making — the good kind, the kind that doesn’t end with a call from your HR department.
Guests are invited to The Cultural Center for an immersive evening featuring hors d’oeuvres, beer and wine, gift raffles, photos with Santa (no kids allowed, for very good reasons) and a performance guaranteed to shake the sugarplums right out of your head. Special guest dancers from Essence MVMT Collective join the cast for the 2025 edition.
And yes: it’s “Xmas” on purpose.
This Nutcracker Has Teeth
The show follows hyper-organized office manager Clara as she attempts—emphasis on “attempts”—to run a flawless corporate Xmas party at Stahlbaum Incorporated. But things unravel quickly when an unexpected guest bursts in to, quite literally, strip away everyone’s inhibitions.
A sudden blizzard traps the staff, egos flare, romances spark and a dance battle for the last bottle of booze becomes the only way out. Expect office politics, friendly-but-cutthroat competition and a revue of HR violations that would make even Scrooge blush — all set to Tchaikovsky’s iconic score.
Make It a Night Out
Tickets are $65 and include food, two drinks and the full “Cracked Nuts” performance. Consider it the perfect antidote to holiday overload — or a foolproof last-minute gift for the friend who insists they’re “not really a ballet person.”
Showtimes
Monday, Dec. 29 | 7:30–10 p.m.
Tuesday, Dec. 30 | 7:30–10 p.m.
The Cultural Center, 2250 E. Paris Ave. SE, Grand Rapids
Grab your partner, your ride-or-dies or your entire work bestie group chat, and get ready for a night of laughs, libations and left turns.
Tickets available HERE.
